Expectations: 3 Kinds That Will Lead to Disappointment

Expectations: 3 Kinds That Will Lead to Disappointment

"Expectation is the root of all heartache"

Shakespeare

“It’s not even him that hurt me, “It’s I that hurt myself”, Layla said.

I asked how: “What do you mean”? 

She continues  “ I expected him to treat me the same way I treated him, but I guess I was in denial to see and accept the truth. 

You cannot expect people to treat you the way you desire, because you treat them the rightful way.

After all, no person is a property of anyone.”

Cut...

Okay, Let’s be honest here.
 
How many of you went through similar situations throughout your lives?
 
Not only in relationships but in life in general? 
 I’m sure as you were reading that short story a similar situation popped up in your mind.
 
I mean we all expected something at some point, and isn’t it true that all we got in return were disappointments?
 

Today, we are going to cover all about the expectations that we face in life. I’ve assembled  3 different types of expectations, each with a suitable example. 

1. Unclear Expectations

Here is a simple example of unclear expectations. 

Let’s say I was home while my husband was on his way home from work.

He calls and asks me if I want something to eat. I say yes, without telling him what I want because I assume that he already knows my favorite meal.

My favorite meal of all times is chicken alfredo but he brought chicken nuggets from KFC.

My initial reaction would be “Why did you bring me KFC, you know I don’t like KFC, I like chicken Alfredo.”

I could have spared all that time complaining if I had told him exactly what I wanted to eat. 

Communication solves the majority of expectation problems. Because there is a lack of communication, people usually get disappointed.

It’s as easy as saying how you feel about certain things, what you want or, how, and where needs improvement.

This can be applied in all areas of your life. Everyone has a desire that may grow in an expectation.

And if it’s not communicated the right way. There is where the problem lies.

2. Unrealistic Expectations

Next, we have unrealistic expectations.

There was this one time, I wanted to buy a brand new car.
 
I decided to go to the bank to get a loan to buy that specific car. All excited I sat before the lady at the bank and handed her my salary slips…
 
She took a look at the slips to see the total amount of my salary.
 
She then turned to me and said ” I’m sorry miss, but your salary is not enough, you are not qualified to get a loan for this amount.”
 
I was so mad. “How do you mean it’s not enough?” the disappointment in my face said it all.
 
As I look back at that specific situation today. I can say that that incident was 100% an unrealistic expectation.
 
The car was about $30.000 and I wanted to buy a car with a minimum wage salary. It was an impossible matter. 

My personal opinion is that we need to balance everything and be realistic enough.

Example If you believe in God then you should know prayer is also a form of expectation.
 
We pray expecting God to answer our prayers. But you have to be realistic with your prayers.
 
If you pray for God to send you $18,000 by the end of the week, I mean,  is that realistic?
 
Nothing wrong with asking God for a specific amount.
I believe He is the God of miracles, but if your prayer is not balanced, you are being delusional!
 

To avoid unnecessary disappointments, take a moment, and think.

“Am I being true to myself?.”

After questioning yourself, make your move!

3. Lazy expectations

Next, we have lazy expectations.

It could be that you don’t know what you want to become in your life.

Because you see no talent in yourself and you feel insecure about taking a step ahead.

Let’s say you want to become a business owner. Or a social media influencer.

But if you are expecting it to fall from the skies into your lap. And do not want to make any effort to work towards your dreams.

Be aware, you are going in the wrong direction my friend and you are setting yourself up for heartache.

To put it another way, If you are expecting to become someone or something in this world.
 
You have to willing to put work and effort into your desires. Otherwise disappointments will knock on your door.   

Exercise: Spend 30 minutes every day and write something you know you can do well but you’re not doing.  

Ideas are potentials.

Everything starts as an idea. Once you’ve acknowledged that idea and decide to work on it, it becomes a goal.

That’s how simple it is. It’s up to you to work on your idea. It’s a do or don’t decision.

You choose!

The good news is,  it doesn’t matter what you see with your visible eyes. There is a full loaded potential inside of you. It’s time to discover this.  

So let’s see some proven facts :

I love how Elizabeth Scott from @Verywellmind described it 

She said: “Despite what your common sense may tell you, research shows that people are surprisingly inept at predicting how we will feel in various situations. For example, one study found that newlywed couples tended to estimate that their happiness levels would rise (or at least stay the same) over the four-years-period after marriage.  In reality, their levels of happiness tended to diminish over that time period.”

“Other studies have found out that lottery winners’ happiness levels tend to reduce to pre-winning days (or sometimes even below).  In fact, while we believe that the ideal job, perfect relationship, or stellar bank account will change our happiness levels permanently, they may only give us a temporary boost of joy—it is surprisingly short-lived. It seems that our expectations can confuse us into thinking that our goals will bring us much more than they actually do, so we often pursue the wrong goals. 

"Sometimes we create our own heartbreaks through expectation."

So instead of expecting, accept what is (reality), and let go of what if (imagination).

The day we turn expectations into appreciation everything around us changes. 

Next, let’s summarize everything we’ve learned today:  

There is nothing wrong with expectations if you are working towards it.

Every time you feel unsure about something, communicate.

Do not let the blank space for people to fill in the lines. that is how you set yourself up for disappointments.

 To be completely happy, you have to let go of unnecessary expectations. 

Instead of expecting something you wish for, find something you are grateful about.

 Stop expecting things from anyone, make sure you do your part and if they don’t want to see that, then boo, it’s time to move on! 

Expectations may result in resentment or heartache and you don’t want that for your life!

3 Kinds of expectations

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